cher thierry

vineri 27 iulie 2012, orele 16:12
"mama, thierry al lui monique a murit intr-un accident de velo"...
acest mesaj mi-a rupt o parte din inima...
in 2006 l-am cunoscut pe varul meu, baiatul surorii tatalui meu vitreg. la momentul respectiv un barbat de 40 ani, slab, atasat de parintii lui prea tare pentru a se incumeta in vreo relatie de durata.
am fost imediat surprinsa sa descopar un om diferit de familie, adica in banca lui, care atunci cand se barfea, parasea camera inventand diferite pretexte.
el este cel care mi-a prezentat zona, care m-a scos in oras, care m-a dus la plimbare pe cheltuiala lui (ceea ce este destul de ciudat pentru un francez chiar daca esti din familie)
el m-a facut sa iubesc tour de france ...pasiunea lui pentru ciclism am adoptat-o si eu desi nu eram un fan al acestui sport mai ales pentru ca in romania nu exista mai nimic care sa te indemne sa il practici.
vestea mortii lui este in continuare un soc...
faptul ca un sofer de masina de gunoi nu l-a vazut si i-a fracturat gatul, omorandu-l pe loc, este cu atat mai dureros...
draga thierry, ai fost un om bun, mi-ai aratat cat de frumos este la tine acasa si mi-ai deschis o lume pe care nu o banuiam. pentru toate acele momente, ITI MULTUMESC oriunde ai fi!

R.I.P.!

O viata intr-o secunda

Reuben Christian, baiatul meu, avea 7 luni si la aceasta varsta, era vazut de toti ca un copil inteligent, ager dar ascultator. Pentru o secunda-doua, l-am asezat pe spate, pe canapeaua inalta de 40 cm, si mi-am intors privirea catre un sertar care nu era decat pe jumatate inchis. Micutul meu, deja poznas, a vrut pesemne sa ma surprinda asa ca ce a urmat a fost un ... Bum...o explozie, am zis in acea secunda si mi-am intors fata catre el pentru a-l lua sa fug pe scari de frica vreunui incendiu. Atunci am constatat cu inima inghetata ca bubuitura fusese cazatura lui in cap de pe canapea. Copilasul meu zacea inert pe covor, cu ochii dati peste cap, cu gura deschisa, limba ii atarna afara din gurita, iar degetele de la maini i se inchideau putin cate putin. Cred ca pentru o secunda, am murit...apoi am spus ca lucrurile nu trebuie sa se incheie aici. Le-am permis lacrimilor mele sa mi se scurga pe obraz in incercarea de a ma revitaliza cat sa il aduc in simtire pe el, pe copilasul care, cu cateva secunde inainte, se bucura ca vom iesi in parc. M-am aplecat cu teama si l-am strigat, mi-am strecurat mana pe sub el si l-am ridicat de pe covor. Parea o papusa cu fata inghetata...strigatele mele au devenit urlete...urletele au devenit spasme...miscari cu el in brate si un du-te vino prin camera...s-au scurs zeci de secunde in care nu stiu cine a fost mai inconstient...eu, ca am ridicat si zgaltait un bebelus traumatizat sau el, pentru care cazatura in fontanela, a insemnat o letargie prelungita...semnele de revenire la realitate au aparut foarte sterse, prin clipire, ochii isi recapatau aspectul apos, privirea acea rece, lipsita de viata, ii redase libertatea uneia plapande dar umanoide. Nimic mai pretios ca momentul in care am simtit strangerea firava de mana. Bebelusul meu era constient. Dar fericirea a durat doar 4-5 secunde dupa care a recazut in starea catatonica, lasandu-ma sa mor inca o data. Din nou aceeasi disperare, acelasi complex de vinovatie, aceleasi manevre total neindicate medical...de data aceasta insa, Reuben a revenit in stare de constienta dupa doar vreo 10 secunde si am stiut ca a depasit momentul cu bine cand a inceput sa planga. In tot acest timp, infinit de lung, el nu a scancit niciun sunet, n-am simtit o suflare sau vreo adiere de caldura corporala... Zeci de secunde cat o viata intreaga... Cu el in brate, agitandu-l si solicitandu-i sa coopereze, m-am agatat de telefon cu intentia de a cere ajutor prin numarul de urgenta national 112. Incercarea a fost din start sortita esecului, intrucat pentru secunde bune nu mi-am putut imagina de ce nu imi raspunde nimeni la solicitare. Acest fapt se datora lipsei de protocol incheiata intre firma la care eram abonata si cel al instituiei care asigura serviciul 112. Un detaliu aflat ulterior si pentru acele momente o sa fac anti-reclama toata viata mea acelei companii. Asa ca a trebuit sa scotocesc prin toata casa, cu un bebelus inert pe brate, dupa telefonul mobil, care, din nefericire avea ecran tactil ceea ce m-a adus in situatia disperata de a aseza telefonul pe un birou si a incerca sa il deblochez, tastand cele patru cifre ce constituiau codul de deblocare. S-au scurs, va puteti imagina, secunde bune pana ce am reusit sa efectuez aceasta operatiune, banala in alte situatii. Conversatia cu dispecerul de serviciu a fost un sir de urlete, pauze in vorbire si scapari ale telefonului din mana, astfel incat cred cu certitudine, ca doamna respectiva a avut impresia unei glume proaste. Nu am fost in stare sa spun coerent cine sunt, unde locuiesc, motivul apelului si toate aceste date sunt absolut necesare si obligatorii. De data aceasta s-au scurs minute bune pana cand am reusit sa ma fac inteleasa de catre persoana de la celalalt capat al firului. Ambulanta a venit in cateva minute, timp in care Reuben parea ca isi revenea putin cate putin. Iar eu ma afundam intr-un peisaj care ma inghitea. Aveam deja halucinatii puternice, maxilarul mi se inclestase iar cu fiecare moment scurs, picioarele pareau a apartine unui strain...ma transformam intr-un pietroi ce atarna din ce in ce mai greu si acest lucru ma forta sa caut apropierea de sol. M-am luptat din rasputeri sa nu cedez niciunei tentatii de a inchide ochii si de a incerca sa imi usurez greutatea ce imi apasa pe brate, pentru ca in putinele minute pe care le mai aveam pana lesinam, nu voiam sa il mai las niciodata din brate pe bebelusul meu. Cu ultimele resurse am deschis usa. Am permis accesul celor de la salvare si ...atat... Desi constienta, nu-mi pot aduce aminte momentele cand am explicat personalului medical ce s-a intamplat, cand am ajuns la spital. Amintirile se reiau la punctul cand m-am regasit asteptand pe holul spitalului de urgenta... Copilul meu s-a simtit bine dupa ce am ajuns, insa eu m-am pierdut. Au urmat doua saptamani in care nu-mi amintesc anumite momente, in care am plans pana la epuizare si am cautat solutii pentru ca revenirea mea din acesta trauma psihologica sa fie cat mai rapida.

De ce nu il mai votez pe Radu Mazare!

Buna ziua, astazi am mers in parc cu bebe asa cum facem aproape in fiecare zi de cand s-a nascut si inca dinainte de acest an. De cateva zile resimt faptul ca va incepe campania electorala si trebuie sa recunosc ca habar nu am cu cine sa votez intrucat dati-mi voie sa cred ca nu s-a inventat inca politicianul care sa merite respect...in viziunea mea, nu trebuie sa imi dati dreptate. Asa ca mi-am propus ca de cate ori am ocazia neplacuta de a constata lucruri/situatii/locuri/oameni in neregula sa fotografiez si sa adaug informatiile la acest "jurnal de campanie" si sa ne facem o parere despre ce trebuie imbunatatit. Astazi motivul 1: Vis-a-vis de Spitalul de boli infectioase este un cabinet notarial al Veronicai Petrescu. Este usor de remarcat, deoarece a furat tot spatiul verde al scarii respective de bloc, si-a marit intrarea modificand cu totul structura de rezistenta a blocului, si-a pus o copertina de pe care foarte usor pot intra hotii in apartamentul de la etajul 1. Din cate am inteles de la un vecin, a contrafacut semnaturile vecinilor din scara respectiva care nu si-au dat acordul pentru aceste modificari! Si bomboana de pe coliva - din cele 7 locuri de parcare din fata scarii respective, 5 sunt inchiriate de acest cabinet notarial. Ma gandesc, oare are vreodata 5 clienti in acelasi timp in notariat pe care sa ii serveasca?! Ma indoiesc! Pentru aceasta nesimtire crasa, dl mazare nu va mai pupa vreodata votul meu. Degeaba ne ia ochii cu parcari in care intra mai multe masini decat anterior daca scopul este de fapt unul marsav, acela de a il inchiria firmelor de la parterul blocurilor!! Data viitoare voi vorbi despre motivul nr.2 v-am pupat!

celebritatea - bate-o vina!

nu-mi vine sa cred ce tot apare prin presa...sunt socata sa constat faptul ca lumea fara preocupari este pe prima pagina mai des decat cei care realizeaza macar 1 lucru cu viata lor.

aflu ca bianca botox dragusanu ridica a sa coada la arsinel si stela popescu. trebuie, pe bune, sa fie o adevarata catastrofa PR-ul domnisoarei pentru ca altfel realiza dinainte de a deschide gura, ca din miscarea asta de marketing o sa iasa sinucidere mediatica imediata. sau are impresia cumva ca romania are prostalai ca aia prin State care pun botul la tot ceea ce inseamna clanul kardashian?! 

un alt subiect fierbinte dar care deja a ars este cel al lui carmen serban - nu cred ca daca nu ai nimic de reprosat vii 3 zile la rand prin toate platourile tv sa spui ca nu esti implicata?!

subiectul nikita slanina ispas este prea comic - tragi-comic. nimic din ceea ce spune sau face nu ridica audienta ci dimpotriva sprijina scaderea coeficientului de inteligenta al audientei. eu aproape ca am simtit cum pot spune ”romania mi es vida” si sa am senzatia ca este corect. ceva de genul ”succesuri peste succesuri”.

oana roman spune ca nu vrea sa fie in ziare, dar nu se poate abtine sa iasa din casa si sa comande taximetristului sa o duca la cine stie ce sediu de televiziune, de obicei cu nume de autostrazi...a, a, a...

or mai fi si alte lucruri care ma enerveaza in tara asta, dar vorba nikitei de romania ”imi place romania, dar nu romanii”!

smurd, arafat sau privat?!

de cateva zile aud despre problema sanatatii si doctorul arafat. cred ca am si eu dreptul la parere, vad ca se poarta in ultimul timp. peste tot in media se discuta despre acest subiect dar observ ca fiecare sustine o parte si da in cealalta, iar cealalta parte da in cealalta si asa mai departe.
intr-o seara l-am vazut pe dr arafat la stirile pro tv si sincera sa fiu, am inteles lucruri pe care nu numai ca nu le stiam dar mi-au conturat si parerea despre motivul doctorului pentru care este asa vehement.
smurd este un sistem de urgenta superior ca dotare si pregatire a doctorilor fata de sistemul "obisnuit" de urgentă, infiintat imediat după revolutie de dr arafat. un doctor cu idei, initiativa si perseverenta. intre timp, am inteles ca a creat fundatia non-profit SMURD, care se sustine din donatii, de asta a zis dl dr arafat ca a pus el bani de benzina pentru deplasari la accidente.
pe de alta parte, ceea ce inteleg ca vrea statul roman, reprezentat de institutii si oameni cu funcții de raspundere, este sa aloce o parte din bugetul ministerului sanatatii, implicit si din banii care se duceau la urgenta si smurd, si unor firme private. aceste firme private vor fi specializate pe medicina de urgenta, banuiesc ca nu o sa trimita la un atac de cord o masina doar cu sofer si targa, ci vor respecta aceleasi protocoale si metodologii ca si ugenta statului. deasemenea, vor asigura intr-un timp mai scurt interventia medicala.
mi se pare intr-adevar delicat faptul ca ministerul sanatatii tocmai a inchis spitale, a concediat si replasat in alte institutii personalul medical din lipsa de fonduri, de unde va avea bani sa plateasca pentru serviciile privatilor?...
dar la fel de ciudat mi se pare ca nu a fost tocmai "vizibil" faptul ca fundatia non-profit care a fost denumita oarecum la deruta tot smurd este fara nicio legatura cu sistemul de stat si cel de urgenta. a fost un mic scandal, daca va amintiti,cu serviciul de stat Politia Animalelor si fundatia non-profit privata Politia Animalelor, tipii purtau aceleasi insemne ca cele ale statului si chiar isi facusera niste insigne prea asemananatoare.
cred ca la asta se referea si basescu, cand spunea sa nu confundam problemele. smurd de stat versus fundatia privata non-profit smurd al carei presedinte este arafat.
sunt convinsa ca suntem cu totii de acord ca dr este foarte priceput, este un medic de nota 10, dar cand iti sustii parerea si crezi ca ceea ce faci tu este corect, nu te dai la o parte ca sa fii sacrificat. lupti.
trebuie sa intelegem ca nu are loc privatizarea sistemului de urgenta care acum este de stat, fiecare sector ramane la fel ca pana acum, dar se adauga si alte ambulante si servicii care sa ajute.
trebuie sa fim optimisti, sa ne gandim la binele situatiei si cu timpul, vom scoate ce este mai bun din aceasta schimbare.
atat

Time for sharing

Hello everyone. It's been Christmas for 3 days already and for those who know me, they can say I love December. I adoooore watching Christmas movies, romantic holiday ones with Christmas trees and kids laughing. This is a time when sharing has to become a reason for waking up.

Even if I am smiling all the time, even if I am the happiest person on earth since I have an 8 month old son that completed my perfect relationship with my hubby, I just cannot forget those in suffering.

I think of those lying in hospitals beds all over the world, many of them dying without anyone around...I think of children being taken away from their families by God, leaving them in tears and pain...and I just cannot stop wondering: why do people die for Christmas? Can't God be merciful? Why cant He wait for at least December to pass? Does He know He kills hope this way?!...

I may sound evil but I am not. I am a believer but I want to see people happy, to see mothers playing with their kids...I don't want to lose hope in God because He forgot about the miracles. ...

Lately I have read all Fitzgerald family's posts, blogs (Facebook - Fitzgerald cancer fond) ...and I feel i lose a small part of my heart every time I read dad's or mum's posts. Their story is so heart-breaking...can u imagine your life without your child/-dren? I can't...:(

I wish this family the best, may their time of pain and suffering be short and may they be stronger with everyday passing by.

Sickness

Hi everyone.

Today is all about sickness. My baby's...

Like all mothers I am always interested my baby gets the best from doctors even if it costs sometimes much more than we can imagine. But, hey, kids are our hearts, our angels. Everything.

Starting thursday my baby started to develop fever, especially in the evening so that you can't sleep as u maybe imagined few hours ago. Yes, I read a lot about kids care, babies are even more likely to become sick for no reasons. But even if u are educated you find yourself in the situation you don't know how to react. I started to medicate the medicine prescribed for fever and I waited. No sign, 1 hour..2 hours...the nite became day. I kinda slept several minutes in hours. But, who cares?

The next day the same story...the following nite the same...

I don't give medicines to my baby immediately or run to the doctor because I have the impression they all have contracts with medicine companies and they prescribe you different types of pills just that they can gain money from it.

Anyway, it is also known it is not always well to medicate fever with antibiotics in kids because of the possibility that they can develop child's sicknesses and you are not allowed to give any pill if this is the case.

But the 3rd day I called his doctor. She came home, prescribed an antibiotic for tummy fever and I kinda relaxed thinking we're on the good path.

Unfortunately, baby had this morning the highest fever till now so I rushed to his paeditrician and told her the whole story. Of course, she prescribed way different medicines and hopefully, Reuben Christian is going to feel better. As I write, he is sleeping. Thank God. He needs it...I need it :)

The moral of the story: wait and see. You need to know facts, to have information for doctors as they prescribe pills for anything if you don't have all the details. Run to emergency if fever grows...no need to wait!

Have a nice week-end!

The story of the fish :)

Hi everyone. Havent written in days because i decided to play and talk more with my son as he is 8 months old and i need to communicate all the beauties of the world. We are watching cartoons like "the story of the 3 little pigs" or "jungle book", we listen christmas carrols, it is such a pleasure to have a baby that understands and responds more.
But beside this, i read, i write and i plan lots of things. I have just read "the story of the fish" by garr reynolds, that wrote "presentation zen" and i need to share it with you. It has a nice moral.
"dear garr,
When you talked about cutting text that appears in slides, i remembered a story from my indian childhood.
After Vijay opened his fish store he wrote an announcement " here we sell fresh fish". His father came by and suggeested to Vijay that the word "we" focuses on the seller not on the client so it is not necessary to be written in the sentence. So the text was replaced to "here selling fresh fish".
Next day, Vijay was visited by his brother that suggested he can erase the word "here" because it wasnt useful. Vijay agreed and he replaced the paper with "selling fresh fish".
Then, his sister came by, telling him that the paper should only contain "fresh fish" as it is obviously they are selling, being a store.
Later, his neighbor came by to congratulate him, mentioning that all the passers-by could tell the fish was obviously fresh. Saying the word "fresh" in the announcement it was like wanting to justify yourself for not being sure it is. There was no doubt the fish was fresh. So, now, on the window the announcement contained this message: "fish"
While Vijay was coming back to his store, after a break, he noticed he could identify immediately the fresh fish by its smell, even if from that distance, the announcement could not have been read.
So he realised there was no need on the paper announcement of the word "fish"
"
How was it? Did u get the moral?
I think saying less is more important...
Kisses

Happy bday

Hi, its december the 1st and i celebrate two of the most important dates in my life. First is the celebration of my relationship with my husband that started on december 1st 2000, so today we count 11 years of us. If only i knew what an adventure will be starting that day.
For those that dont know how we started, well, i met my husband on 28th of march 2000 but nothing told me i would become his wife then. We saw at his office, then our lives continued like we haven't met at all. On nov 30th i had a problem i heard he might help me out with so i called him, very shy, so we met that day. I discovered he tought about me all this time and he asked me out but i said a lie and hope he didnt get it :) unfortunately in 5 minutes my lie was revealed so i had to accept to meet him once more. He told me he will call me in some days but next day, in the morning he called me and asked me to join him for he wants to tell me some stuff. Well, i went, and he told me his story. He was by far the most honest man ever knew so i think i fell for him that moment. :) thats why i said yes in a second to his question of relationship.
U can guess the story is longer but i only wanted u to know a little. Maybe every year i will post the sequel :)
Anyway, here we are after 11 years, we have our marvelllous yet modest life but God gave me the precioust gift: our son, Reuben Christian whom tomorrow celebrates his 8 months of living :)
The 2nd event that we celebrate today is the national day of Romania, i love this country, i have been out its borders and trust me, there's no place like HOME. Love people, love places and love the opportunity i build on my own here.
Respect, Romania!

Good evening

Good evening, have discovered there were so many viewers today.
Thank everyone for support, I feel a lit bit better now, I thank God for making me stronger after this experience and you, for the emphaty you felt for my situation.
Unfortunately, yesterday, waiting for the neurosurgeon, we stayed on the hospital halls and now baby caught a cold. He has a little fever, his nose is a fountain but he's on treatment.
Good nite!

Call 911

Hello, yesterday was that horrible day when you realized how easy the balance of life can become unequal.
I was getting ready to go out and have some fun with my beautiful son, so I got him dressed but suddenly I saw smth that made me leave my baby alone on the couch for a second. Behind my back he threw himself off the couch...he hit himself so badly he stopped breathing, he was lying on the floor like he was dead. I shook him hard, he got back after few seconds then he stopped breathing again this time longer than before. Of course, I got my hand on the phone.
In Romania emergency number is 112 but I dialed 911, like in USA. I was so confused I even said wrong my address when the officer asked me to, I had no idea what to do after. So I opened a window with baby lying in my arms and waited for ambulance. He got back after few minutes, I nearly fainted for several times but I needed myself to be strong for my angel.
When ambulance came he was active, not like he uses to, but in a better shape than I was. We got to the nearest hospital, he was checked out by a neurosurgeon that told me he is okay, probably was the shock only.
Yesterday was the saddest day if my life. I know it will always be remembered.:(
P.s: take care of yourself!

To be or not to be...honest?!

Good morning to you all. It's 8,30 am and I woke up in a very meditation mood. :) I only have one question in my mind: to be or not to be honest?
Last days I have written an email to a very big CEO I met at a conference. It was a business meeting, I had this great opportunity to attend it and I am still excited about. There I had the chance to practice my english, French and romanian, of course but the fact I disliked the most - I have understood that with baby comes a new territory. You are connected to a different reality, that of how to do best for your child, how to improve your motherhood skills but that takes you away from environments for grown-ups. I talked with biggest figures in that huge company and I am being proud of my abilities to even say a word knowing myself as the shyest person on Earth.
After that conference everything changed. I have understood I am not just a mommy. I need to be provoked, I need to be able to express myself in different language beside ba-ba-ba, ma-ma-ma, I need to be challenged and with this understanding, I opened a door.
Told you I wrote a mail. Yes, I discovered I am not "trained" for business point of view, I think as a psychologist and for that, well, I don't blame myself. But the CEO wrote me back a business reply and I didn't get it. I read the letter as coming from a newest friend u make and not as a business polite reply. Got the picture? I felt like i had betrayed myself because I didn't know how to interpret the 2 sentences. I was being friendly with the man, which by the way, is so modest, sociable and cute, that only saw in me a woman talking too much for a business meeting :)
Omg, I felt so ashamed when I realized the mistake I did. Business and friends don't belong in the same sentence. Meeting and honesty don't do also.
Hear my conclusion: honesty is not for business meetings. It is never used as an advantage so get rid if that friendly look, battleling eyelashes and emotioned shaking hands. Your look needs to be icy, yet complex. Your tone has to be low, serious and full of meaning itself.
Eh, what the hell, I need to become a business woman to understand this code...
Thank you, mr. CEO!
P.s.: :))

New book

Hi.
I have started to write a psychological book about a subject it seems to make me meditate lately. I am interested in everything involves celebrities, stars, media, paparazzi, this phenomenon that I call disease already. You can become addicted to finding and searching news about celebrities you love but of the celebrities u hate, too.
At least I am.
So I am writing a book I named it "I want to become a superstar", it has 6 chapters and hopefully in several months I will finish this job.
Are you coming with me in this journey?
:)

Celebs

Lately I've been more active on my twitter (@cristina_cortes) and Facebook (cristina Surugiu) accounts so I kinda received many infos about celebrities. I have begun to be asked to friendship many unknowns and started to be followed by unknowns. It is also true I gained some celebs as friends too, like Neyo, whom I'm biggest fan (for that I created a page on Facebook called "fan Neyo"), Aaron Alexander Reid, whom tweets I adore because they are so full of life :), and the list could really go on and on. I am not a celebrity so imagine what this means to a simple yet complex person that I am. I love tweeting and face booking, I also did a tumbler account for I can see latest news about Neyo. Well, I said, I'm a huge fan of him. :)

I'm writing these things now because i was wondering why people become addicted to social networking, why a new follower improves a life, why a sad mood changes into a happy one after just one RT. For those not knowing me, I've always been interested in meditation, in introspection so I won't change that in me.

I think I have an idea about questions I mentioned before. I think people with different social life then celebritities wonder how is it to be in that situation, and I'm sure, celebrities don't do the vice-versa :) simple persons want to know more about what they can't have and celebrities want to know how are they seen through simple beings point of views. I was happy all nite when I became Facebook neyo's friend probably because I will never have the chance to be a real friend to him. This way of acceptance is a two-way street. U r happy because it seems like u r important to a milion-persons adored VIP then u discover u r just another person in a list...nothing special, nothing extra!

Game over ;)

It's monday

Hi everyone. I just decided to start re-write my ideas as many of you suggested me to do so. I know I am not such an important person to have many creative ideas or to own a blog but what the heck, if Perez Hilton can do it, why can't I? Lol I'm a woman with a smile on my face at every hour of my living, I like what life reserved me till this moment and I can honestly say I don't have regrets. Maybe there are times in our lives when we struggle to succed but we can stand up against dificulties. I am strong. Life in last year and a half changed me dramatically because I gave birth to a star baby Reuben-Christian whom is now the center of the universe. To my husband and I. Well, our families too. I changed the music I used to listen, I changed my point of view regarding superficial ideas and books, music, actors etc. I started to own the Internet. I was blessed with an iPhone 4 and an iPad 2 so I can be online non-stop if I wish that. I am here, forever :) This is for the moment, I will come back after feeding baby. :)

hello

God its been a long time since i wrote the last time on my page. :) so many things like miracles happened in my obviously boring life. but hey, I am truly convinced you are all be envious on me :)

last time i wrote was about my struggle with my weight. i wanted so badly to lose 10 kilos, i didnt make it but actually on the way there i discovered that what there was really a reason to struggle was to lose weight under the "awesome" 70 kilos. even if i lost 5 kilos, being under 70 was a huuuuuge step. so i was happy and still am :) thanx to all that been supportive and full of encouragements, it changes everything in your perspective.

the big news that I am a 10 weeks pregnant mum so this is my miracle. It is yet just a false feeling of motherhood which will probably increase when my baby will kick my belly :) for those who wonder if i feel special, if i feel like something abnormal, well, the response is NO. No, i dont feel anything unusual, but yes - i feel something rather strange than before. I feel sick, sick and sick...Nauses, morning sickness, feel like i can faint all time, so YES, I FEEL :) Lots of things...

Don't worry. I love my baby because she/he is a miracle. I met so many women lately that have tried for years to have a child and to me, it happened when i planned to have one. On the other hand, this kid is very loved because she/he is the fruit of a honest respectful love and marriage to my husband. I always wanted to have a child when i'll be 30 and I will be married for 10 years. So this is that moment forever dreamt. :)

Today I write a coming-back message. I believe it's already a lot what i confessed so welcome back, readers (i heard you're being called bloggers :)) ) and c u soon.

Kisses.

55 of 56 days.

hello today i celebrated my anniversary because its Sunday and actually my birthday will be tomorrow. but because u don't feel the need to have fun on Monday we choosed to do our party today. who is my friend on Facebook can of course see some photos we took in this special day.

me 30 years old tomorrow. what is means? what an age...what a number...i don't know why but i feel like i am old and I know i am not. 30 yrs is such a beautiful time. i wish everyone has the best at this age. including me, of course. my marriage is solid as a rock, it's not about my marriage i am scared of. but i have the impression, today, at least, that i haven't really achieved yet my goals. i have a beautiful partner beside me, we have a strong relationship, we have love, passion and respect for each other.

but i am not yet satisfied of my professional life. i need to be active, i need to grow on this field. maybe it is not my time but i am sure i will definitely try my best from now on. i want to become a volunteer in the social field using this way my knowledge. in 2 weeks maybe i will begin looking for non-profit ONG whom needs volunteers.

nothing else for the moment. kisses and i wish u have the best time of your life :)

52nd day of 56. 70 kilos :)

hello, i didn't have much time to write lately because my husband is at home for 3 weeks. our preferate "job" is these days going to the beach in the morning. i love it...i love summer sooo much :)

today i slept a little after we came home so in the afternoon i did some cleaning around the house including washing the carpets. at 32 degrees celsius, imagine :)

monday is my birthday. i celebrate my 30 yrs old and i know it will be a day of laughing and crying. laughing of the fact that i am old :)) but crying for not having my parents and my sister with me. maybe it is a little silly and stupid but i believe in our hearts we are all children...i'm counting on my husband to know how to make me laugh more than cry :)

starting that day we will get to work and conceive a baby. I hope Lord will give me this pleasure of becoming a mum next year. it is His choice only.

like i said before, my b*day will be also a day for praying for my friends' health and joy. i hope u will pray for me too.

kisses.

p.s.: i achieved my 5 kilos not 10 kilos weight loss goal... but i am happy and satisfied still. :)

46th day of 56 Friends

hello everyone. today is a sunny day and my heart is thinking about friends... that i lost by my own fault, friends that God thought it's better to have, friends i lost track of because life had separated us...

my life has never been simple. everybody knows it, i don't write this to victimize myself. but it seems like there had always been an empty place i could never fill even if i tried hard. i always been difficult and i assume it.

somehow in my life entered people i considered important and i continued to struggle keeping them. in the last days i met someone by mistake whom i discovered has a beautiful soul, he loves his family as i do and he loves to give presents :)) hahaha

my life is a carusel. when i am sure of a friend it appears i am wrong than a person i don't know becomes a friend to count on...strange, a?

what else? in 10 days will be my birthday, celebrating 30 yrs old and trust me, that in that special day, i will be thinking of you, wishing you all the best and praying that we all will be okay. kisses .

43th day of 56.

hello everyone it's a new week i hope we all have a very lovely week with fulfilling what we aim to. i am a little sad because i took 1 kilo this last week but that is just because i kinda ate pork steak and some bad stuff to make pleasure to my husband. but i will soon lose it, i'm sure of it, as i am eating very good. sometimes we make compromises for the beloved ones and that what matters.

today i have in plan to accompany my husband inside the city for a trip of almost 100 kilometers so i am getting out of the house a little.

what else? nothing important. i am looking forward to arrive to date 21st of June to conceive my babygirl, Rebeccah-Marie or Reuben-Christian. I hope God will allow this magic in our lives.

Kisses to all...